Monday, September 29, 2008 10:35 PM
Is it holiday yet? Yuppy....it is. A holiday that I'm having with a lot of doubts and uneasy feelings.
Exam is on its way. It is coming! How? I always hated exams, at least since I entered secondary school. Oh...no, no, no. Since I entered Form 3. Exam had never been fun at all. Now, in Form 4, I really can't breathe. Maybe many people will think, "oh my god, you are only in secondary school. Secondary school things are just so easy. Simple things will drive you crazy? Gimme a break, please." Ok, many people will think like this, maybe older people. They are now in higher education level, then they will think that secondary school things are just as easy as pie. But please forgive me, I will think that secondary school is hard for me, maybe when I grow a lil older, I will think like what you all think. :)
Exam is gonna last for three or four consecutive weeks. I don't really remember. Never mind. For these few weeks, my mind is going to be busy. Physics, chemistry, biology, history, additional mathematics.....and all kinds. I wonder how am I going to deal with all the pressure, for about 1 month! After exam, then I will worry about my exam results. Every now and then I am like this, always worry about all kinds of things. I'm a paranoiac. That's what people told me. LOL
Now I really want to go and study, but I just couldn't do it. Oh my God!!! I know everyone is busy doing revision. ARGH!!! Stop thinking. Stop writing for more. Ok bye!
Saturday, September 27, 2008 7:22 AM
So long since I last blogging...lol
Looking back into the past, I realised many things had changed. Totally changed.
Why? I thought everything was so nice. I thought everything was good. But they were not.
First, it was my mom's brother and his family. All these years, they treated us so great. I thought they were good and decent people. No, they are not. They sabotaged all my other relatives that we thought our other relatives were bad person. But the fact is, they are the bad person, not our other relatives. Somehow I couldn't believe it. But never mind, after this incident, our relationship with other relatives got better. We always hang out with my mom's sis and her family. This is good. :)
There was another thing then. It was my father's relatives. All the time, they were good. I thought they were kind people too. Again, the answer is not. They were just acting. This one, sometimes when I think back, "Why did all these happen?" It was unbelievable. Everything was nice and "POOF!" No!!! *sigh?*
Things may look nice from the outside, but from the inside, they are not. People may be good to you, but they are actually not. How to trust people? People are so fake. They are like good person to you, but from the back they talk bad about you. Why?
Friday, September 5, 2008 11:29 PM
I always feel that I'm not important at all. And that's right.
People don't like me. Classmates, teachers, people. I know I'm not good. But that feeling sucks a lot. I'm not happy. Especially at school. You know, at school, everyone is looking at me with that look. I know maybe some of them don't like me. And the past few days I can even feel more and more people hate me. I don't like to go to school. I always wish that I could be sick and not going to school. Then, I don't have to look at the people. I don't have to face them. Looking at them, just make me feel like dying.
I know that's my fault if people are treating me that way. I know I have attitude problem. I don't know when will all these end. I had done so many wrong things in the past. So, that's what I get for myself. Serve me right, huh? Sometimes, you may have change, but people will not accpet you anymore because you had done wrong in the past. I always say the wrong things. I know that many people got angry because of what I have said. Words kill...
Why am I like this? I had try to change, but it didn't seem to work anymore. Sometimes I wonder, do the paople be friends with me sincerely or they just faking around. Sometimes I wonder, do they really hate me or it is just my way of thinking? I have no idea.
Somehow, I wish things could change. A better tomorrow, huh? *ROFL*
